I walked into RK Bridal completely overwhelmed. There were racks everywhere jam-packed with wedding dresses. I didn't know where to look first. I didn't have anything particular in mind. All I knew was that I wanted it to be simple, comfortable and affordable. Joseph and I had been married months earlierand the wedding dress was for our one-year wedding anniversary.
Most women spend months looking for the perfect dress, pouring over magazines and trying on gown after gown. I picked out three. And the dress I said yes to was the second one I tried on. It was a few sizes too big and a bit dingy from wear, but I just knew the moment I slipped it on that it was the one. The seamstress took my measurements and I put down my deposit. I think I was in and out in less than two hours.
I loved everything about my dress. I felt beautiful in it.
And that was it. After our day was done I took it to the cleaners, placed it back in its storage bag, and put it in a storage container. It has been there ever since (almost 11 years).
Over the years I have seen many friends in their wedding dresses. And I've seen quite a few share photos of their dresses being recreated as baptism gowns for their daughters.
I don't know if that was something I would have considered if I ever had a daughter, but seeing it always made me wonder.
January and August always make me sad. Those are the months I am reminded of my loss. And it hurts. Ever since that day four years ago, I've been looking for a way to heal - a way to commemorate that there was once another child.
I can't remember when or how I first learned about Angel Gowns.
Angel Gowns of WNY is dedicated to creating beautiful final-photo and burial gowns, handcrafted by volunteers, from generously donated wedding and special occasion dresses, to offer comfort to grieving families in NICUs during their time of loss. Angel Gowns are beautiful gowns that are hand made by volunteers for babies that never make it home from the hospital.
But I do remember deciding that I was going to donate my dress to them. (One dress can clothe 8 - 15 tiny angels.) This week in my effort to embrace my word for 2015, I took a mental health day. And I started cleaning out closets. I pulled out my wedding dress for one last look. I asked Joseph if he was okay with my decision to donate my dress. (He was.)
And today, that is what I did. I packed it up carefully and it's now en route to Buffalo.
It wasn't an easy decision, letting go of my wedding dress. But it felt like the right thing to do. I will always love my wedding dress, but knowing that it may bring just a little bit of comfort to a grieving family is what makes it all the more special to me. And that gives me a sense of peace that I have not had in a long time.
