I've always loved the start of a new school year. The smell of fresh paint, chalk and sharpened pencils. The crisp spine of a composition notebook, bright white pages and the ritual of making book covers out of brown paper bags. During my Catholic school girl years, I spent those first few weeks of school dressing with care: ironing out my pleats and adjusting my knee high socks. I loved the feeling of brand new leather shoes - snug without creases, their laces clean without frayed threads.
I don't know if Norrin looks forward to any of these things.
And as I see other parents get ready for a new school year and the first of "1st Day of __ Grade" pictures pop up in my Facebook feed, I am reminded that our back-to-school experience is different. Norrin will most likely never start the first day as any kind of 'grader' as he is in an ungraded school.
There isn't a long list of school supplies to be purchased. There are no text books to cover. There are no pencil cases, protractors or compasses. We buy one notebook - a communication book to keep updated with Norrin's teacher.
I have let go of mainstream dreams - I know a typical school is not appropriate for Norrin. I accept Norrin's school and I'm grateful he's in such a wonderful place. But still there are certain times of the year that make me a little sad. I wonder what Norrin would be like if he were starting the 3rd grade. I wonder what chapter books he'd want to read. Or if I'd have trouble explaining that "new" math (probably). I wonder if he'd be some 3rd graders first crush. There are so many things that come to mind at the beginning of a school year. And I have to accept autism and my kid just as he is. Because he's come a long way since his diagnosis six years ago. Because I recognize how far Norrin's come, I get excited about September. And I admit, I spoil him. I bought him a brand new Star Wars book bag and lunch box (with the coolest bento boxes) from Pottery Barn. It was a little expensive but I hadn't bought him a new book bag or lunch box since Kindergarten. I love buying stylish clothes for back to school and cool sneakers. I do this because it's the way I would have wanted to start my first day of school. Norrin may not understand how special the first day is, but I do. On September 8th Norrin will begin another school year and I'll take his picture to commemorate the day. And since I haven't seen cute little signs for the ungraded kids - I made some of my own! Feel free to print out & share.
